NOTE: Below is the transcript for Episode #2 of the Healing Maven podcast. We cleaned it up a bit to ensure it reads well but otherwise the content hasn’t been altered!

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Healing Maven podcast!

I am your host, Jaymie Sutherland, Spiritual Healer, Soul Guide, and Teacher, bringing you back home to the truth of who you are and the divinely supported, powerful creator you are within!

I am so excited to be here again today.

Today I want to talk about the level at which we are healing.

A lot of the time we are consciously aware of our problems.

We are consciously aware of our issues and triggers.

We are consciously aware of the emotions we may no longer want to feel or the emotions we want to… I want to say tamper down.

But you never want to tamper down your emotions which is, I mean, I guess that’s a fancy way to say repressing!

So you don’t want to repress your emotions because they will always, always, always come back up.

They will always find a way to reemerge because your emotions are not meant to fester, they’re not meant to sit in your body and not go anywhere.

They’re meant to flow, they’re meant to move; it’s energy in motion!

It’s so important we’re taking the time to recognize and separate from our emotions because we are not our emotions, our emotions are not who we are.

Therefore you can create a distance where you become aware that you’re reacting, you become aware that you’re feeling, but you don’t respond anymore from that place.

It’s a level of awareness that we can get to but the first thing we need to do is often reconnect with our body.

It’s not even reconnecting with our emotions that’s the level we aren’t hitting, it’s reconnecting with the sensations within our body and allowing it to feel.

Over time, we become disconnected from the way we’re meant to function, from the way we’re meant to flow, and we get this focus that’s very mental.

It’s very analytical, it’s very in our heads, and that’s not where we live.

That’s not where we’re meant to live.

We’re meant to live in our heart, we’re meant to live where our soul resides, we’re meant to live in all of our chakras, in all of the energy along our body and not just up in our head.

So going back to, you can be so consciously aware of, “I don’t like this thing”, or “I don’t want to feel this anymore”, or “this is the action, and this is the problem, because this is the way that I’m responding when that action happens”, so we try to heal that moment.

We try to look at that action that’s happening right then and determine how we can change it moving forward.

Determine how we can not react anymore, but a trigger is almost always something that has happened in the past.

If you have an emotional response to something now, especially as an adult where you have already lived your childhood, and you’re in a place where you’re responsible for your emotional responses.

Essentially you’ve done some living is what I’m trying to get at here.

You’ve done some living and that means it’s most likely whatever the reaction is you’re feeling in regards to an action, an experience, a conversation, specific words, or specific events, is from something that has happened in the past.

It’s from something that happened long before you were probably even fully aware of what was happening.

As children we are not often given the room or the space to learn how to self-regulate, to learn how to self-soothe.

And I don’t mean self-soothe in allowing them to cry it out or allowing your child to have a complete tantrum. 

But self-soothe in helping them create a safe space within themselves so they know they are safe to feel.

So they know they’re safe to react, they’re safe to respond, and then help them come back to the emotion.

We get so caught up in the action, in the response, we forget to go back into the body.

We forget to go back to the emotions and learn to use them as our guideposts.

Emotions are indicators that something isn’t in alignment with who you are, the path you’re meant to be on, or the way you are meant to go.

It’s something within that’s coming up, the emotions coming up, to tell you this was not okay or this was amazing let’s do more of it!

Either way, recognizing that the emotion has a trigger within that you can get underneath.

You can get to the root of where that trigger first started, where that response first happened, and it might be from childhood, it might be from this lifetime, it might be from a past lifetime, it might be generational.

You might be here, like me, to break generational curses, to break generational patterns and chains that have been carried down through your lineage and you’re the one having these experiences because you are the one who is going to be able to change them.

Because you’re the one who’s going to be able to create new patterns by healing the things that are no longer aligned with the way that you want to live your life.

The beliefs that were given to you, the beliefs that were impressed upon you, the beliefs that you were told, that never really felt right, but you hadn’t been given that space or that bandwidth to learn how to trust yourself,

to learn how to trust your emotions will guide you.

They will show you the way and they will show you the path of least resistance in terms of getting to the destination you desire and being able to hold it.

That doesn’t mean it won’t be challenging, and that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to face the same things over again but each time you do instead of becoming frustrated, start to recognize it as an opportunity to practise your new pattern, to practise your new belief. 

To practise saying, “I recognize this is happening, I recognize it isn’t what I want to experience anymore, and I am shifting out of that”.

Right before I recorded the first episode of this podcast, and I think I’ve talked about it a little bit, maybe just in my email list, I had my most recent breakdown to breakthrough.

I was sitting crying in my car, because that’s my safe place to go.

I live in a small suite with my husband so there isn’t really any privacy to be had and sometimes you really just need to cry it out. 

So I went out to my car, and I’m crying and allowing myself to feel what I’m feeling.

I’m allowing myself to release all the emotion, all the tension, release it all.

And there was one track that my mind started to go down because just like you all, just like *we* all, I am also human and I am consistently being given the opportunity to practise.

So the first line of course that initially came up was a victim mentality.

I wanted to scream at the universe.

I wanted to yell, “why is this happening again?! Why is this continuing to come up?! Why is this thing still affecting me so heavily?!” and for a couple of seconds I started going down that line of thought….

and then I brought myself back in.

I brought myself back in and I said, “wait, actually… thank you!

Thank you for this opportunity to heal another layer of this trigger, to heal even deeper this wound that’s coming up, and I am open to receiving whatever lesson needs to come through so that I can feel and let go.

Spirit guide me, spirit help me, my emotional support team, show me what I need to move through this and let it go”.

And I instantly felt calmer, and I felt peace.

And I was still crying, it’s not that the emotion just disappeared, but I created an outlet.

I created a space for it to go through gratitude and through love and through creating a new understanding that whatever I am experiencing, the depth of whatever I am experiencing, is there to show me something new.

Or it’s there to help me practise what I preach.

It’s there to help me practise everything I know to be true, everything in my belief system that tells me that our emotions are our guideposts, that our emotions are here to help us find new layers.

So I chose that different track.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about how much growth she’s seen in her relationship, and celebrating how she’s seen so much growth just through the casual conversations she and I have had!

But she was recognizing her partner for how far they’ve come, and saying sometimes they still react in a harsh way, but it’s been improvement in a one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, one step back kind of fashion, and I was like that’s healing layers in practise!

That’s an example because although often we can get right into the root of the wound and the root of the issues, but when you’re healing and reconnecting with yourself, reconnecting with your emotions, reconnecting with your body, and doing all these different things,

you’re doing them all at once.

And there’s a lot at first because at the beginning of that journey, you’re doing everything, like I mentioned in the previous episode, at the beginning of your journey, you’re questioning every single thing.

So that becomes a lot easier down the line because you’re no longer questioning everything, because you’ve shifted beliefs, you’ve shifted emotions, you’ve shifted the way that you see the world.

You’ve shifted your perception on what life gets to be and the experience you get to have so there’s not as much but there are always new layers as you grow and as you reach new levels.

So in our conversation, I was saying to her that’s healing layers in practise.

As they move forward and they react in a better way, that’s a layer that they’ve healed. 

Next time it’s a trigger that’s deeper because now they’ve created safety in their body.

They’ve created that safety within themselves and your body will recognize that there’s more space, your body will recognize that there’s more capacity, your energy has grown and it can hold more and it goes,

“hey! I think we can do this now, I think we can go a little deeper now, I think now we can also let go of this.”

And then they have that reaction that’s maybe a little harsh again.

But you will find, just as my friend did, that their person came back faster to apologize, came back easier to reconcile, and came back of their own volition to say,

“I recognize that I reacted in a way that I no longer want to and that may have been hurtful to you”.

Like massive growth! Massive growth.

So even when you feel like you’re kind of going backwards, I encourage you to recognize the ways in which you have also moved forwards.

Because there are going to be times where there are going to be those layers.

And you’re going to let go, and then you’re going to make space, you’re going to make room, and something else can come up.

But the more you practise and the more you integrate and embody so deeply the new beliefs you’re creating space for, the new beliefs you’re now holding, or you will be holding, your come back time… 

Your comeback time is so much better.

That breakdown I was talking about, that would knock me on my butt, it would knock me out for days, maybe weeks. 

It would ruin a long time for me, and over time it got shorter and it got shorter and it got shorter.

And depending on the level of breakthrough, or rather the level of breakdown in order to breakthrough, because they’re correlated.

After that breakdown in my car, I brought myself back to the healing and I brought myself back to allowing space for the lesson to come up, for the wound to come up for me to clear, when I was done crying I went back inside and I sat on the couch, I sat on my couch, and I meditated, and I again created space from now having let the emotion out.

And I grabbed my microphone and I hit record and this podcast I’d been dreaming about for years was finally borne.

It’s so important you don’t stop the emotion.

You don’t stop yourself from crying, you don’t repress it, you don’t shame yourself, you don’t tell yourself that you’re stupid or silly or ridiculous for continuing to react or emote. 

That’s a big thing I often see is how much we shame ourselves for continuing to react to something that we believe is stupid.

And it might be!

Honestly, it might seem petty, it might seem small, whatever the thing is that’s causing you to react, but that doesn’t mean that the initial trigger was.

There’s a good chance that the initial trigger, well I mean, it has to be a fairly decent, fairly decent level of trauma for it to become so ingrained that small things begin to trigger it. 

But that also means that you’re creating space, you’re creating awareness, and these are all good things.

These are all good signs, and I know that the emotion doesn’t always feel good.

But allowing yourself to steer away from the shame and stop that spiral and instead say,

I recognize that I’m reacting in a way that may feel petty, that may feel silly, but knowing that how I feel is valid is more than enough for me to understand that there is something here that is deeper than what is happening.

There is something here that is more than the sum of this small moment or experience that really didn’t warrant, in my opinion, the level of response that I had.

And I have absolutely had that happen.

That’s often how I know…

Say you’re given news and the news is happy and exciting news but you feel in your body that it’s reacting in a way that’s not concurrent.

There’s most likely something, there’s a fear there.

There’s a fear there around whatever that happy news was, and it’s not that you won’t be happy or get to happiness.

But there’s something there that your body is like,

“this is going to be amazing, but first we need to heal this so that you can hold it.

First, we need to get into this wound, to get into a space where you can recognize that you have a fear and this experience, even thought it’s a happy exciting experience, is an opportunity for you to recognize there’s something deeper here.

And to let it come up and let it go so that you no longer have to experience it. Or you no longer have to experience it at this level or this layer.”

Sometimes, like I said, I’m able to completely let it go, other times there’s little trailings.

These tiny little trailings where it’s little pieces that continue to come up after and I’m like okay.

It comes up, and I’m like, “I know exactly where this is from, I know exactly what this is related to, and I’m happy. I’m grateful for this extra little piece that came up giving me an opportunity to fully release it and let it go”.

So the level of healing that you are doing if you can’t get past the mind, if you can get past the conscious, I recognise that this is something I want to change but now I don’t know what to do. 

Get into your body.

If you are disconnected or disassociated in some way from your body it’s really important to create safety.

I encourage even just physical touch, so touching your toes and moving up your body or starting at the top of your head and moving down your body, and just softly even sensually like just from a loving, loving, loving, place saying,

“These are my toes… this is my foot.. this is my ankle… I really love my calves… I’ve always had really great legs…”

Like just moving up your body and only appreciating and only loving, and not falsely.

If something doesn’t feel true, don’t push it.

But just keep moving up your body and when something does feel good, “oh I always loved that or I always have had a great butt!”.

Like just recognize yourself, create love, loving frequency, loving energy,and give that to your body just to start building that connection back up.

You can also do this energetically.

So closing your eyes, maybe put on some soft, no lyric music or a frequency in the background, and close your eyes and just bring your focus, your awareness, again either starting at your toes and feel your toes and moving up your foot and feel your ankle and your calves and feel love and just move upwards.

Or starting at the top of your head, you know starting at your crown and your forehead and your ears and your nose… 

Really just start creating movement, reopening that energetic flow for there to be sensation within your body, for there to be touch and love and connection that’s physical and energetic and loving, always loving(!) back with your body.

Because as you create this connection, as you create this loving reconnection, you will begin to recognize your emotions more as separate from it.

You will begin to feel the anger in your belly or your heart, or the fire in your head, or whatever it might be, you begin to feel it’s separate because you can pinpoint exactly where it is.

You can say, “I have this pain in my left shoulder and I can bring my awareness to that point and I can see where it is and I can feel where it is.”

This is going to be foundational for your healing.

This is going to be foundational for you to start building a connection to your body, building a connection back to your emotions and also building new neural pathways.

Building new energetic channels, and reawakening, reopening.

Reawakening because that’s how we’re meant to function.

We are not meant to live in our head.

Our body receives energy, receives frequencies, and then that energy is translated into a feeling, and the feeling is translated by the body, which then moves into the mind, and the mind translates the feeling as anger, sadness, happiness, excitement, frustrations, anxiety, worry.

So if you’re starting in the mind by saying I am worried but you don’t feel it in your body, you don’t know how to feel it or locate it in your body, it’s going to be very hard to let it go.

So start practising.

Start practising getting back into your body, start practising loving the way that you work, start practising loving how it feels to be in your body, to connect with your body.

That’s going to be the first step for those of you that do find you’re disconnected from your emotions and you’re unable to really pinpoint what they are.

And a way that you can tell is if somebody asks you, “how do you feel? how does it feel?”, and you’re somebody whos answer is often, “well I feel like I’m good” or “I feel like I did okay” or “I feel like it went well”.

That is not a feeling.

How do you feel.

I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel angry.

Those are feelings.

So if you are somebody when asked, “how do you feel” and there’s a sort of block.

There’s a sort of block in your mind, and you might even stop for a moment, and then your answer isn’t a feeling.

Or your answer is, “well you know I think I could have done this better” or “I really feel like I did this well”.

I know you’re saying “I feel”, but that’s still not a feeling.

That’s a sign that you’re most likely disconnected from your body.

And it could be that you’ve experienced such strong emotion that to protect you your subconscious closed that door.

Your subconscious closed that trap door that allows healing to get through between your body and mind.

This was an analogy when I was first learning about subconscious rewiring and how the brain and the body worked together that really helped me.

If you think of your mind, your consciousness, as the top level, and then below that is your subconscious and your body, and between the two is a trap door.

It’s usually open, your subconscious and your conscious are allowed to speak, communicate, they transfer information.

When you experience something that your subconscious decides is unsafe, and it could be something like, for example, you go for a job interview.

You go for a job interview and you’re not regulated so you’re sweaty, you’re nervous, you’re anxious.

You’re feeling it all and you don’t know how to handle these emotions so your body is overwhelmed and becomes overloaded with this anxious worrying feeling, and that trap door slams shut.

It slams shut so that nothing else that might add to the danger can get through.

So now your consciousness and your subconsciousness are no longer communicating when it comes to that topic.

So this is why months down the road, years down the road, after you’ve been on many many interviews, and you actually consciously are confident.

Consciously you’re like, “absolutely, I walk into a room and I do this all the time, I know what to say and how to engage my audience or the interviewer, like I know how to answer the questions.

I’m so confident I’ve done this so many times it’s not a problem”.

But your body still feels the same anxiety that causes it to sweat and tense up and it’s because that trap door is shut.

So consciously you understand you are safe.

Consciously you understand that interviews are no longer something to be afraid of, that interviews are no longer something that is unsafe.

But because you haven’t reopened that trapdoor, that healing, that conscious knowing, hasn’t had a chance to dive into the subconscious to deal with those emotions, to deal with the reaction within your body to say it’s okay now.

It’s okay now and we can let this go because this is safe.

So you have to reopen that door, and that starts with being intentional about it, and that intentionality often starts with reconnecting to your body.

I hope this episode was just really lovely for you and a peek, a snapshot, into subconscious healing, into dealing with your emotions, and how to reconnect with your body, and knowing that the level at which you’re going to heal is going to be different.

And sometimes it’s going to be intense, something is ingrained, something was really really repressed or pushed down, or an emotion, an emotion all together has just been stricken from the record of what you allow yourself to experience.

If you decide to do any of these practises, which I really encourage you to, even if you feel like you’re somebody who is quite aware and is quite connected because I definitely am somebody who knows that I’m very connected to my emotions, I’m very connected to and understand they are not who I am and they are separate.

But it’s still a practise that I practise!

It’s still a practise that I do and it’s also because I keep it up that I remain so connected.

You know, these practises become a part of life.

So when I have a few moments before bed or when I’m first waking up in the morning or if I’m having my tea or I take a break or I go for a walk.

I’ll do these same practises of opening the flow of energy within my body and following the path from the top of my head down to my feet and then allowing the energy to just flow into the ground, back into Mama Earth and come down from Source.

I practise allowing this connection consistently.

I practise connecting with my body, somatic healing, all the time because it’s so important and because I’m human.

I’m always experiencing human events.

I’m a part of other humans’ stories, I’m a part of other humans’ lives, like I am always, just like you, we are always, always going to experience different things because that’s part of what we’re here for.

You know, you’re here to learn what you like and what you don’t like and that means you have to experience things that you like and don’t like!

And that’s going to continue for your entire life as you open up to new paths, to new growth, to new ways, to new beliefs, to new levels.

There’s always going to be little bits of healing and sometimes big bits of healing but you’ll find that over time, after you’ve started your healing journey and the more that you continue along it, you’re not as shaken.

You’re not as, there’s not as many, I guess maybe deep life events the older you get.

They become a little bit fewer, a little bit farther in between.

Especially because it really just is, there really is a huge onset when you first get started just because there’s so much potentially that you haven’t recognized or been made aware of yet.

So when you start opening that box, you start removing those layers, you don’t know what’s going to come out.

Which is also why it can be really great if you can join a membership or join a group, or if you have a partner or healing partner, or if you can invest in a guide, invest in a mentor, invest in a healer who can help support you.

Who can help hold you in those spaces when it feels really hard and it feels really heavy and it feels like a lot because it always, it always will a little bit, and you’re just going to get better, and better, and better, and better, and better.

Better at recognizing, better at reacting, better at responding, better at understanding. 

You’re only going to deepen the more work that you do and the further that you go.

And theres no timeline.

Theres no expectation of when you need to start and when it’s going to ended or how often you need to do anything.

I started with snatches of time, I started with moments that I could find here and there to learn, to heal, to explore, to journal, and to meditate.

I started small.

I started with little pieces here and there as I got more comfortable with shifting the way that I saw the world.

And now it’s more of a priority for me because now I love how it feels and I understand so deeply how the impact is, how much the impact can be.

So thank you so much for tuning in!

Like I said I hope you gleaned so many beautiful things from this episode.

Please, please feel free to like and to subscribe so you get notified when the next episode airs.

I always appreciate it if you share, let other people know about this podcast or if there’s someone that you know who can benefit from any of the wisdom that I’ve dropped here today please don’t hesitate to share this podcast episode or even the blog because I will upload it as a transcript again for my readers.

If you prefer to read or if you just want to read after listening and see the words written down on “paper”.

Thank you so much and have a beautiful, beautiful day!