I was tired of defining my life by what I "do" - which I was basing on what others wanted me to do because hello, people-pleaser and good-girl identities! - and always feeling like I was failing.

Although I followed suit in terms of seeking a typical job, I was determined to at least like my work... fast forward through a decade of searching for a career that felt, at least on average, good before I started to question not just the path I was walking but the entire construct behind it.

I watched family and peers in unhappy jobs take the few weeks of vacation allowed a year and spend the first few days of each "unwinding" before they could enjoy it and the last few days dreading their return to "reality".

I understand in reflection I was fighting for societal change in favour of living.

my 2 sweetest little loves💗

toby & mia

Asking, "What is living if I don't get decide how my life gets to feel, who gets to be in it, and go after what I truly want that makes me feels alive and of service just because someone else can't understand or see it?".

I was asking myself, "What is living if it means sacrificing at minimum half my life, who I want to be, and the experiences I want to have?!".

I began questioning the idea's I'd been raised on that there's one way to do life; earning small allowances of yearly freedom by giving half my waking hours to an unfulfilling job, over-giving to my loved ones in order to make them feel happy, putting myself and my desires last, never sharing my thoughts or dreams in case it might ruffle feathers or rock-the-boat, settling for the bare-minimum in order to simply get by, make it through, and hopefully be able to retire at age 65 where I get to actually begin living.

in my late 20's I started to question society's parameters for "living" and "living well".

The only answers I could find...  it isn't. It isn't living. It's existing
- and I wanted more.

I started with studying the science of energetics; going deep into the way our mind/body system is truly meant to function. I studied the science behind the conscious and subconscious mind and how our beliefs effect our emotions, which effect our responses and reactions, which filter our reality to "fit" what we believe.

In healing myself and simply speaking to the healing principles, ideas, and tools I'd discovered and created I was healing my small corner of the world too
- and a Soul spark was lit!

I spent years in learning, application, and refining to heal my own beliefs, emotional triggers, and wounding; as I did, I noticed how others around me were subtly changing too. They were waking up with me through conversation alone where I was sharing my studies, how I applied them, and how they were changing the way I was able to show up for and within my life as well as for the people I love.

I wanted to understand why I couldn't be happy with the usual like everyone around me, and along the way maybe discover what would make me happy.

My spiritual awakening started with simply wanting a better feeling life. I wasn't seeking spirituality. I didn't have a burning desire to learn about the soul.

All that is required is a desire to feel better than you do now, a willingness to show up and choose desire, and a readiness to meet yourself in ways you never have before.

This was part of my journey. And I love how spirituality weaves gracefully through to support my life, my work, and the purpose I feel inspired by each day. But the beginning of my journey is a testament to the healing work possible without initially feeling spiritual or guided towards Soul.

In my journey, the science led me to the Soul separate from our physical body, which led to the Universe, Source, and Divinity, which led to desiring to embody fully my spiritual gifts, purpose, and the goddess within me.

I believe we are all deeply spiritual, even if we don't feel we are or would identify as such, because to be human IS the spiritual experience our Soul is here to have.

The want to feel better is the spark and the steps towards choosing it will be an opening to the life, fulfillment, and Soul embodiment you're dreaming of. ✧