How often are you repeating and turning to affirmations only to have them make you feel worse?

There’s a reason why the affirmations written on your mirror, the post-its on your wall, and the inspirational words on your vision board are not coming true or manifesting in your life, but even making you feel worse.

If you find yourself diverting your attention so your eye doesn’t land on them when you walk in the room because the anticipation of facing that affirmation is making you feel dread, guilt, or shame before you’ve even read them, you’re in the right place.

There are a few reasons why this happens and why your affirmations aren’t making you feel better or helping when you read them, and a few things you can do to shift the energy around them!

You are always manifesting; it’s just a question of whether or not you’re doing it intentionally.

The Universe is inclusive so it doesn’t filter out by detracting, it only filters in by attracting.

This means in every moment of the day you are either calling in the life you desire, attracting the opposite or lack of what you desire, or a watered-down, filtered version of somewhere in between because you aren’t being specific or intentional enough with your energetic focus.

Feeling neutral means the power behind those words or affirmations is weaker so you aren’t manifesting the abundance of that desire but you’re also not manifesting a lack or scarcity of it.

It’s more like it’s stuck with little movement in either direction.

Before you panic!🌟

This doesn’t mean if you’re not actively in alignment that you’re actively out of and detracting what you desire so before you spiral down a hole of, “I’ve gone too far and I’ll never attract what I want”.

( Because I have been there! Especially when first learning about the Universe and how manifestation with the Law of Attraction specifically works )

Know that your magnetic energy is an accumulation of your most dominant thoughts and feelings.

If you think or feel “negatively” about your manifestation for 10% of your day and the other 90% you’re able to be in a loving, abundant state.

The Universe is reading the dominant 90% so you’re still in quite good shape in terms of manifesting what you want.

In fact to take it even further, if you think about other things in general as well through your day that make you feel good, loving, and abundant you’ll naturally attract many different experiences that bring you more of what will create that specific feeling.

The teachings of Abraham-Hicks, teach you to shift your thoughts and your focus from things that feel bad to things that feel good because where energy goes, energy will flow, and this is true as a part of Universal Law.

But the caveat here, is if you don’t deal with the root of the fears or beliefs behind why you feel fearful or negative when you think about your specific manifestation of attracting your soulmate love, soulmate clients, creating your wealthy business, serving in your highest power, buying a new home, a new car, etc…

Then the Universe can’t bring you that desire even if you are shifting your thoughts to other things that do feel good, because that specific thing doesn’t make you feel good.

The vibrational frequency of that specific manifestation or desire isn’t in congruence with the things that the Universe can draw into your experience to continue making you feel good, abundant, loved, etc.

I do think it’s an important piece to understand as it’s part of the reason why people will read and listen to Abraham-Hicks but not easily apply the principles behind their teachings to actually manifest what they want.

The idea behind shifting your focus to things that do feel good is to get you out of that feeling bad emotional state, come back to the desire you felt bad about, and approach it from a more emotionally neutral or preferably, better-feeling state so you can start shifting it.

Too often people don’t come back to that though, they take the teachings as almost a distraction model instead.

I know because I was one of them before I began to study emotional codes and created emotional alchemy to help me align with manifestation ✨💖

This comes up a lot with friends, family, and clients where they come to me in emotional states and say the affirmations they’ve written on their mirror feel awful in their body and make them feel worse.

But because they feel committed to the practise they’re repeating them anyway and I have to take them back a few steps to show them how that’s making their emotional state worse instead of better and even harder to shift out of.

The reason why your affirmations aren’t working and your reality, your life experiences, aren’t changing is because of the emotions you feel behind them.

Words are just words, the power they hold is purely in the emotions they evoke.

Think of how differently words are charged for different people where you may hear phrases like “girl boss” or “fempreneur” and immediately think of hustle, sacrifice, and a women who’s hardened.

Others hear those same words and think about building a feminine empire that serves and feels aspirational.

When I hear those words now they bring to mind a woman in her power AND her softness who’s building an empire that honours her feminine flow and urges instead of denying them.

Think of the different words that evoke strong emotional responses either way and how others will use them without compunction.

When I was younger my brothers were part of an Australian hockey exchange and there were words the Autsralian kids would use that shocked us because where they were casual slang in Australia, but spiteful insults in Canada!

Words don’t have power, the beliefs and emotional connections behind them do.

And your emotional connections are a response from the programs and beliefs you’re currently holding in your subconscious.

As Canadians we were taught certain words are bad or derogatory so we believe that they are and the use of them is meant to cause harm but we go somewhere else where they were taught something different and it’s even a term of endearment or friendship so meant to show care or connection.

The same word, two completely different lessons led to two completely different beliefs and so different emotions elicited when used.

Your beliefs communicate with you through your emotional responses which is part of why they are codes.

How you feel will show you where your current level of belief and so alignment is sitting in terms of your manifestations.

There are a lot of nuances behind the emotional codes and alchemy – in this post we’re focused on using affirmations to help boost and determine where your manifestation power and alignment is currently sitting.

If your affirmation feels bad in your body you have a belief in your subconscious that’s actively working against that statement or affirmation or mantra being true for you and so being able to come true for you.

When you repeat affirmations or mantras and they fill your body up with love, joy, and excitement when you read them, think about them, and visualize them coming true you know you’re beliefs and programming are in alignment with this becoming your reality – and it’s actively working to find it’s way to you and into your reality.

When you repeat affirmations or mantras and they fill your body with anything less than unconditional love or joy, you’ve got work to do to get there and find alignment.

This is why when you’re in an emotionally charged state, sometimes going to your affirmations or mantras isn’t helpful if you don’t subconsciously wholeheartedly believe them to be true and possible for you because repeating them brings these beliefs to the surface through emotional communication.

So instead of bringing in love and joy, it’s piling onto the fear and discourage you feel when you turned to them in hopes they would make you feel better.

That’s why sometimes I call affirmations positive bandaids because if the energy and emotional alignment isn’t behind them they aren’t healing anything but merely covering them up temporarily.

They’re like bandaids on a bullet wound.

Knowing these concepts and accepting them as truth, you can now use this information to weed out subconscious misalignment behind what you’re calling in or desiring to create.

If you desire to manifest a new home and you’ve created affirmations like “I’m worthy of the home I desire that’s spacious with big windows and beautiful views in every season” or “My new home is coming to me and I’m creating the wealth I need to buy it”.

Or if you have manifestation statements like “I’m manifesting the home of my dreams that has space for my family and visitors and themed party celebrations”.

Instead of using these affirmations to get you into a good state, I encourage you to get yourself into a good state first, unrelated to your affirmation or mantra, to see how they truly land.

Before you repeat them, use a grounding and heart-opening practise to align your energy with love and receiving.

Then open your affirmations and pay attention to how you feel in your body when you say them.

Pay attention to what feelings are evoked when you visualize receiving and having them.

If you feel good and happy, excited and content, in the new home you’re visualizing that has everything you desire – you’re on the right path!

Your beliefs are aligned with this new home being available and possible for you which means you’re attracting it into your reality.

If you feel anything less than joyful, excited, or at peace – take note of the specific emotion.

What do you feel? Is it anger, sadness, frustration, fear?

This means subconsciously your beliefs aren’t aligned with receiving your new home so you can start to explore why to start clearing and shifting them.

Why might you believe you aren’t worthy of having the home you desire that brings love and joy to you and your family?

Why does the idea of having a new home that brings love and joy and greater connection for your family and loved ones make you feel fear? Make you feel anger? Make you feel sad?

Are you afraid to lose someone or something if you receive it?

What meaning have you attached to owning your dream home?

Then what must you believe for those fears or meanings to be true? 

Begin to unravel the belief so you can face it, move through it, and start instilling new beliefs that are in alignment and support of you having the new home of your dreams.

Start doing this with each of your current manifestations and desires.

Explore your more general or broader beliefs as well with general affirmations such as “I am worthy of the love I desire”, “I am an abundant, radiant creator who receives everything she desires”, “the Universe is always working in my favour”.

If these statements and affirmations don’t feel good, follow the same process to weed out why that might be.

Ask yourself:

→ What emotion do I feel when I connect with this affirmation or mantra?

→ If I feel bad, what must I believe for this mantra or affirmation not to be true for me?

→ What did I experience as a child that’s in contradiction to this affirmation or mantra and how is or has that experience shown up in other places in my life?

→ How would I be acting or focusing my energy if I did believe this affirmation or mantra to be true?

→ What would I be doing differently?

→ What stops me from doing those things now and can I get to the root of that resistance?

Sometimes much of healing is debunking in this exploratory fashion where you’re simply getting curious.

If you feel yourself shaming or guilting yourself for having any beliefs that contradict the affirmation or manifestation you’re calling in at any point you have to release those as well because the energy of shame is not the energy of healing or loving self-discovery.

The energy of shame is from Ego so not in service of your highest purpose or alignment but in service of safety as staying the same at all costs.

Growth is unsafe to the Ego.

So if you do feel or have shaming thoughts come up at any point in this exercise, recognize they’re there and kindly ask them to step aside so you can continue your journey to feeling better and experiencing your life the way your Soul decided to before you were born💖

I hope this post helped you learn a little more and unravel the why behind what it means when your affirmations are making you feel worse instead of better!

And I hope you’ll use them moving forward to help you discover what beliefs may be holding you back and you use the prompts to help you work your way back into loving alignment with everything you desire!